I believe there is value in learning from other people’s mistakes, and not just your own. There just isn’t enough time to only rely on your personal life lessons.

I also hope that this could make you feel better about your own failures, maybe you relate to something I said, or you feel less ashamed and less misunderstood, maybe you’ll be reminded that truly, everything happens for a reason. And that’s more than I can ask for!

A list of things I’ve failed at and why they had to happen.

Because life’s too short to only learn from your mistakes. And in other people’s failures, solace, relatability and lessons can be found.

Got Rejected from Medicine.

My whole life I wanted to become a doctor, it wasn’t anyone’s influence (well except maybe that one K-drama). It was purely me.

I’ve worked harder than needed in school for this sole purpose but in the end, I didn’t get in. Where I’m from, you only get two tries. The second time, I didn’t even care.

Cryptocurrency Trading.

This one was a mess. I had no expertise or knowledge whatsoever. I simply relied on trends and money Twitter, & TikTok. I was simply chasing fast money. Mindset and execution were both ways off.

But, I applaud my younger self’s ability to take risks and dream big. (No, I didn’t go as far as to think I was gonna become a crypto billionaire or even millionaire).

Failed My First Year Of Engineering University.

In 2020, I had to repeat the year. No one except very close people know about this to this day. But going from being top of your class your whole life to completely failing was… unexpected. I went through that period of time alone, dealt with shame, hated Engineering because it wasn’t aligned with who I am.

Little did I know, there was a plan in the making.

Affiliate Marketing, Print on Demand and Etsy Digital Products.

What I did for all of them was simply creating a website or an Etsy shop and promoting products on Pinterest, the posts did get traction, the problem with this one was that I simply did not give them enough time. I believe they all had potential, but 2 or 3 months is in no way enough for any type of success.

Blogging.

I’ve been a writer my whole life, but the first time I had the idea to have a blog was in 2019. All I did back then was create a half unfinished site.

Fast forward to 2022, I spent most of the year thinking about it until later that year when I took 3 months to plan for it. (glorified procrastination, anyone?)

In January, I had my domain name, hosting, and 5 blog posts ready. The blog launched. The blog lasted about 3 months. The blog died.

I did not give up, the website crashed twice, everything disappeared. The first time elicited hysterics but I tried again, the second time, I took a break and re-thought everything.
To this day, I’m not sure what really happened.

Here’s why I’m grateful for each failure.

Failures alone are like a single puzzle piece that makes no sense, provides no context.

But a culmination of failures, compound to create a complete picture.

One that takes time but eventually makes sense, making you grateful for every piece, and the art piece they created.

Medicine Was Not For Me.

We might want something for a decade and have a million reasons why we want it, and it could all be beautiful and reasonable, but if it’s not meant for us, it will never find us, and we will never find it.

Thinking about it now, being a doctor doesn’t align with the highest version of me, it doesn’t fit in with what I really want to be doing with my life. It would’ve been long and strenuous, and I would’ve definitely burnt out.

Stop Chasing Fast Money.

Your reasons might be noble, but how you go about achieving your goals is what matters.

I understand now that I want to be playing the long game. I’m willing to do it and I’m patient enough for it.

“Would you trust a bridge that was built in one day?”

I think our goals deserve to develop with a solid foundation and strong pillars. 

A castle that can withstand storms and heavy rain. 
Tea that took its time simmering and developing flavors. 
A rose that grew from depth and darkness and opened its petals to the sun.
A love that ignited and burned slowly but surely. 
A story with long books, many characters and spectacular world-building.

There Is Always A Hidden Reason… A Door Could Emerge Where One It Had Not Been.

I always hold on to faith and trust no matter what happens, even if I spend a long time not knowing the reasons, I know things will click one day. Like puzzle pieces that form a clear picture.

For 3 years, I had no idea why failing my year had to happen. I just lived with it. Until… An opportunity has risen that wouldn’t have if I hadn’t spent that extra year.

To really understand this, you have to know that the first two years of an engineering degree are simply preparatory, a jumble of math, physics, optics, programming… Only then do you choose a specialty.

This is why I never felt aligned, none of this had any purpose, I had no direction or goal in life. And graduating high school is supposed to give you some sort of stability, but I was still lost for 3 years.

Until, for the 2023/2024 school year, a new major was added. And that’s the one I got into, management information systems. I know that for anything else, software engineering, cybersecurity, civil engineering… would have all left me dissatisfied.   

Passion Is An Essential Ingredient.

Another word could be interest. 

Unless you feel a sense of urgency in wanting to make money or you truly have passion, consistency would be hard to acquire.

The biggest and simplest proof for it is that by adding passion to the mix, you automatically add consistency which is invaluable to success.

And that’s where blogging comes in. 

Do you notice the way these failures are compounding? it’s reaching an exciting crescendo!

Do What You Love, But Keep In Mind, There Are Many Ways To Do It…

As you can see, I quit all the trendy hocus pocus and actually thought about the things I care about. 

I’ve been a reader and a writer my whole life, and I remembered 2019 when I tried to become a blogger. I’ve spent months thinking about it before spending another 3 months planning for it. I watched YouTube videos and read articles about tips and advice. 

But excessive planning is just glorified procrastination. A form of procrastination that feels good; it convinces you you’re moving forwards when in reality you’re delaying the important.

After the blog crashed a few times, and then disappeared around April 2023, I spent months not doing anything. I was sad about it, but I knew in my head that I wanted to retrieve it or start over. 

But then the idea of newsletters crept into my mind. And I was torn between the two. I wasn’t sure if starting another blog was a good idea. 

I didn’t know whether to try again or try something new.

I admit now that the idea of a personal website really appealed to me. Something that you fully own that bears your name, has your aesthetic and palette. And I mainly realized this after watching Ali Abdaal’s interview with digital writer Nicolas Cole, (super valuable for any writers out there!) And he talked extensively about newsletters and how a blog is basically just for show and has to do more with you than the reader.

And that’s how this newsletter was born (and constantly evolves).

This time, the delay between thought and action was very minimal. As soon as I got the idea, I researched for a few hours, especially trying to figure out which platform to use, and later everything was set.

Because what defines great entrepreneurs is how fast they can go from thought to action. From theory to practice. From mind to matter.

Research and planning matter, but you’ll always figure out more along the way.

And I’m here for a long, long time. 

I hope you are too.

💖 Let’s connect!

If you liked this email, check out my: LinkedIn, Medium, and 𝕏 (formerly known as Twitter)

📝 Author’s Note

Being a private person, I never shared my flaws or failures with anyone, but in my writing, these constrictions don’t exist. I felt no hesitation sharing this, on the contrary. 

I think about how bad school and even other people make us feel about failing and then I think about how I feel now about my own failures, almost proud, almost wishing for more because of how valuable they are and the way they compound for the next thing.

I hope you learn to see your failures as something to be proud of, as incomplete puzzle pieces that are yet to compound a reveal a masterpiece.

Leila,