Self-acceptance, tuning into the divine feminine, and daring to do what’s right for your soul even if the road feels uncertain.

It all started when I was 14 years old, and I was in 9th grade. At the time, I’d gotten three self-help books by Ibrahim Elfiky, and as someone who’s always been a reader, I just read them.

Conveniently, 9th grade in my country ends with regional finals. And one of the books was titled ‘The Pathway To Excellence’ I don’t remember what it was about exactly, (though the title is descriptive enough) I remember it had some questions which I scribbled the answers to in hasty writing with my pencil.

Long story short, it more or less contributed to my being the first in my school, though I can’t for sure now.

Nonetheless, it felt good and very rewarding.

Sometime during that period, I watched a lot of TED Talks, one of my favorites to this day (and criminally underrated) is: If you want to achieve your goals, don't focus on them by Reggie Rivers.

After this rather accidental origin story, self-improvement became something I prided myself on, my YouTube was always filled with this type of videos, I got into blogs, started watching Ali Abdaal later into high school (I’m kind of an og).

If you read: 5 Life and Money Failures, 1 Complete Puzzle, you’ll see that this coincides with the time I was trying to start my own blog.

I’m 21 now, and after countless videos, courses, documentaries, books, and blog posts… I am finally quitting the self-help world. 

The reasons and signs behind quitting.

The content didn’t feel good.

It started when I joined X back in October 2023 and for some reason, I was instantly met with self-help content, mostly by men. On the other hand, upon getting Threads, I got a lot of bookish content and there were only women, it had many pictures and it felt like going on Pinterest. Being on Threads felt so much better.

Not because I can’t handle being challenged, but the self-help content always felt generic, taken in and then out, it felt stressful and pressuring for no reason, there was no personality, and everything was so alike, it was so desperately repetitive.

This applied to me too, because although I felt like I had a lot of valuable things to say, posting always felt so inauthentic to who I am, even if I genuinely wanted to share what I knew.

That’s how I slowly transitioned into content made by readers and writers, until that’s pretty much all there is now.

I’ve always tried a little too hard. But my friend seemed to just be lucky.

During all my years of studies, it always seemed to me like I tried harder than others, they complained that they can’t get up early to study, or they can’t study unless they feel like it, or they procrastinate all the time, but you’d always find me pushing and pushing. 

For what? I’m not entirely sure. That’s a topic for another time.

I did my best this last semester but still had to retake an exam, while my very chill friend passed everything. I know many people lie about how much work they’ve actually put in, but she was genuinely doing the bare minimum.

She’s also very liked, and she deserves it, but I wondered how it is that she seems to have this ‘lucky energy.’

I started to think about the energy of letting go, of surrender, and how that’s a way of manifesting and receiving blessings.

Aligning with feminine energy.

Luckily during that time, I also started to consume more content about femininity, and cycle syncing, and it felt so good to let go and to learn all about these things. Because my excuses before for not learning more about this was that ‘it would program my mind into thinking it has to have rest when I can work instead, let my mind believe that my physical and emotional state can be productive all month round.’

Can you see the problem already? I have to admit, it was sneakily creative, but completely useless. Sure, you can program your mind to run an extra mile instead of the usual miles, but to go against your beautiful nature?

Making this decision felt like a weight has been lifted off me. I realized that although I have been in tune with my feminine energy, I haven’t done so when it comes to work and productivity.

As a woman, we can still be productive with the fluctuations of our cycles. Our bodies deserve all the love and care. Sadly, we’re in a world designed for men which makes monthly cycles instead of daily seem like a burden and a liability. When in reality, it’s anything but.

Feminine energy (even and especially in work and productivity) is powerful. You can unlock miracles and content living by understanding and embracing femininity.

Coming back to what I love.

I do love self-improvement, and I always felt like I had unique insights to share, but I realized that it was never anything more than a passion, obsession or something that gave me a sense of purpose and pride and safety.

It was also a sort of coping mechanism in an environment where I’ve always felt lonely and like a stranger, and till this day, I don’t know anyone in my circle (near or far) who’s interested in improvement.

What I care about, and always did since I was a child, is reading and writing, and although I love writing in all its forms, what I really mean is creative writing. And as scary and uncertain it is, it’s what I love.

It’s funny how we always realize things in odd ways.

In the end, I will continue to read the occasional self-improvement book, (the only one I’m currently excited about is Feel Good Productivity by Ali Abdaal) otherwise, I don’t consume any content anymore on any platform.

I will also continue to consume content about psychology and philosophy because I feel as though these are very important sciences.

Life is far too short and dare I say ‘futile’ (in a non depressing or hopeless way) to care about what matters to others only or to follow others when in the future you will always regret not doing what is authentic to you and aligned with who you are.

💖 Let’s connect!

If you liked this email, check out my: LinkedIn, Medium, and 𝕏 (formerly known as Twitter)

📝 Author’s Note

I still love watching productivity vlogs made by women, they feel gentler than ‘traditional’ self-help and hustle culture. I’m happy all these reasons and signs came at the same and right time, because it allowed me to get closer to my dream of living a gentle and slow life, and to live life on my own terms. It also brought me back to my original dream of creative writing.

When I noticed all these signs and made my decision, I felt so much relief. But then I started feeling anxious and scared. But I know by experience and theory that the right decision will not always feel right or good. But later on, the relief will come much greater.

I hope you have the wisdom to discern right decisions from wrong, and the courage to make all the right decisions despite the fear.